Another aspect of homeschooling I value is that our children can sleep as long as they need. We don't have to wake them up in the morning so they can go to school. I think sleep is important to the developing brain and to children's overall health and happiness.
When Big C was going to school it began at 7:30. Yes, 7:30!! The school wanted to be able to take advantage of the public school buses and needed to work their busing around the public school hours. Fortunately we lived less than five minutes from the school and we chose to drive so she could sleep as long as possible.
In our home school group we have a few single moms who home school their children. They work non-traditional hours or do their 'schooling' in the evenings or weekends. You have to remember homeschooling only takes a few hours per day compared to the eight most kids are spending in school. I met a mom yesterday who works at IKEA. Her husband works there as well. They have their hours split in such a way that they can both work practically full time jobs and yet be home to work with their children.
Parents with two working parents can even home school. It's possible to hire a nanny to take care of the children during the day (similar to the child care you paid for before your children were school-aged). He or she could do some level of schooling with the children and you could do the very minimal amount required in the evenings or weekends.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
The Overprotected Child
The Atlantic magazine arrived at our house and I was excited to read the cover article entitled "The Overprotected Kid". The just of the piece is that kids these days don't have enough opportunity to take risks and explore because their parents fear them getting injured, abducted, harmed. They are afraid to let them ride their bikes alone, play outside unsupervised, climb trees,do normal kid like activities.
I've often heard parents quip "It's a different world now than when I was a child". The statistics in the article bunk those statements and indicate the incidence of injuries and abductions have not increased much since the 1970's. If you look at the incidence of abductions since the 1970's there is a rise. However, if you delve deeper into the data the increase is not due to stranger abductions but rather to family abductions. Divorce has been on the increase since the 1970's and these fractured homes are leading to one parent trying to abduct the child from the other parent. Nice, huh?
Children and getting hurt:
Big C fell off a trampoline and out of a tree breaking two bones in a matter of four months. We felt like really great parents during that summer. The gut wrenching part was when she wanted to climb the tree again the next spring. What's a parent to do? That confidence and lack of fear, that get back up on the horse attitude, should be applauded, right? But the protective part of us did not want her to get hurt nor did we want to revisit a doctor with a third broken bone in less than a year. We let her climb. We decided the gumption on her part was more important to reward than our fears. Upon Big C's second broken bone, I asked her doctor if I should be concerned about her having soft bones or a lack of calcium. He calmly responded she was just hitting that age where broken bones become more common because children begin taking more risks. I also saw some generational differences in the approach to allowing her to climb the tree again. My parents couldn't quite fathom why we wouldn't let her get back up there.
Parks have changed due to law suits:
Growing up there was a huge park within a thirty minute drive of our home. The highlight of the park was the zip line. It was a controlled scary in my eyes and I looked forward to forcing myself to tackle it. The thrill of conquering the fear felt really good. The zip line started up quite high and careened you into a net. I 'think' there was a net underneath the line. When our homeschool group put that particular park on our summer schedule I was just as excited as a child and told my girls all about how much fun they would have at this awesome park I remembered from my childhood. We arrived and there was no zip line. The park, albeit large, looked just like any other park in any old neighborhood.
Unstructured Play Areas:
The author visits a 'park' called The Land in England. There are no real play structures just acres of property for the children to explore. One of the more popular parks our homeschool group visits is not even technically a park. It's more a nature area. There may be a slide and a dome type structure but mostly the kids explore the woods, climb trees, build structures with fallen limbs, and most importantly, use their imaginations. They can play for hours at this 'park' with just what they find and their brains. This is a group of kids from two years old up to seventeen.
I often tell B-real I was meant to live in the 1950s. I believe in families with one parent not working outside the home. I believe in marriage. I believe in people hanging out at home more often. The importance of a neighborhood. Child led games and activities rather than paid coaches. Freedom to explore. Multi-aged play in the neighborhood. Kids coming up with their own ideas to keep from being bored. Not being too busy with structured activities. Family time. Dinners at home.
But here's the thing, if you believe in these ideals and no one else does, your kids are going to be darn lonely. For my kids to have the opportunity to be around other children, we have to sign up for the structured evening activities. There is no one around in our neighborhood with whom to play in the evenings. In the summer kids are at day care because both parents are working. We invite people over but they respond with "So and so has a field trip here, then we have chess club, then it's religion class, a birthday party". Everyone is so crazily busy! And it's lonely if you don't agree with that pace of life, if you don't agree that benefits your children, your marriage, your family life.
I remember seeing families at little c's gymnastics. They had young children (think 3 or 4 years old), both parents dressed professionally, peanut buttering Saltines for their child to eat at the gym, for dinner. I imagined these children had been separated from their parents for the day at daycare. Instead of spending time with their youngsters at home around the dinner table they felt they needed to give them the chance of gymnastics. Why? These professional people didn't prioritize time spent with their children and a wholesome meal over sending them off to a gym class at 3 or 4 years of age? Don't they want to spend time with the children they've been away from the whole day?
As we were falling asleep B-real and I were thinking back to our own elementary years. Neither of us grew up having cable TV. And even if we did cable did not offer the options it provides to children today. Kids programming all day long! Netflix, Apple TV, OnDemand. We did not have the Internet, nor ipads, nor smart phones, nor video gaming systems. There was none of that appeal to pull our minds away from just playing and being outside with our siblings and neighbors. Our parents did not care enough about our interests to devote their evening time to driving us to multiple locations for activities. And I think kids were happier back then. There was less stress on them. I believe there's research to indicate more children are being treated for anxiety and depression than ever before.
The article is a long read....but definitely worth it!
I've often heard parents quip "It's a different world now than when I was a child". The statistics in the article bunk those statements and indicate the incidence of injuries and abductions have not increased much since the 1970's. If you look at the incidence of abductions since the 1970's there is a rise. However, if you delve deeper into the data the increase is not due to stranger abductions but rather to family abductions. Divorce has been on the increase since the 1970's and these fractured homes are leading to one parent trying to abduct the child from the other parent. Nice, huh?
Children and getting hurt:
Big C fell off a trampoline and out of a tree breaking two bones in a matter of four months. We felt like really great parents during that summer. The gut wrenching part was when she wanted to climb the tree again the next spring. What's a parent to do? That confidence and lack of fear, that get back up on the horse attitude, should be applauded, right? But the protective part of us did not want her to get hurt nor did we want to revisit a doctor with a third broken bone in less than a year. We let her climb. We decided the gumption on her part was more important to reward than our fears. Upon Big C's second broken bone, I asked her doctor if I should be concerned about her having soft bones or a lack of calcium. He calmly responded she was just hitting that age where broken bones become more common because children begin taking more risks. I also saw some generational differences in the approach to allowing her to climb the tree again. My parents couldn't quite fathom why we wouldn't let her get back up there.
Parks have changed due to law suits:
Growing up there was a huge park within a thirty minute drive of our home. The highlight of the park was the zip line. It was a controlled scary in my eyes and I looked forward to forcing myself to tackle it. The thrill of conquering the fear felt really good. The zip line started up quite high and careened you into a net. I 'think' there was a net underneath the line. When our homeschool group put that particular park on our summer schedule I was just as excited as a child and told my girls all about how much fun they would have at this awesome park I remembered from my childhood. We arrived and there was no zip line. The park, albeit large, looked just like any other park in any old neighborhood.
Unstructured Play Areas:
The author visits a 'park' called The Land in England. There are no real play structures just acres of property for the children to explore. One of the more popular parks our homeschool group visits is not even technically a park. It's more a nature area. There may be a slide and a dome type structure but mostly the kids explore the woods, climb trees, build structures with fallen limbs, and most importantly, use their imaginations. They can play for hours at this 'park' with just what they find and their brains. This is a group of kids from two years old up to seventeen.
I often tell B-real I was meant to live in the 1950s. I believe in families with one parent not working outside the home. I believe in marriage. I believe in people hanging out at home more often. The importance of a neighborhood. Child led games and activities rather than paid coaches. Freedom to explore. Multi-aged play in the neighborhood. Kids coming up with their own ideas to keep from being bored. Not being too busy with structured activities. Family time. Dinners at home.
But here's the thing, if you believe in these ideals and no one else does, your kids are going to be darn lonely. For my kids to have the opportunity to be around other children, we have to sign up for the structured evening activities. There is no one around in our neighborhood with whom to play in the evenings. In the summer kids are at day care because both parents are working. We invite people over but they respond with "So and so has a field trip here, then we have chess club, then it's religion class, a birthday party". Everyone is so crazily busy! And it's lonely if you don't agree with that pace of life, if you don't agree that benefits your children, your marriage, your family life.
I remember seeing families at little c's gymnastics. They had young children (think 3 or 4 years old), both parents dressed professionally, peanut buttering Saltines for their child to eat at the gym, for dinner. I imagined these children had been separated from their parents for the day at daycare. Instead of spending time with their youngsters at home around the dinner table they felt they needed to give them the chance of gymnastics. Why? These professional people didn't prioritize time spent with their children and a wholesome meal over sending them off to a gym class at 3 or 4 years of age? Don't they want to spend time with the children they've been away from the whole day?
As we were falling asleep B-real and I were thinking back to our own elementary years. Neither of us grew up having cable TV. And even if we did cable did not offer the options it provides to children today. Kids programming all day long! Netflix, Apple TV, OnDemand. We did not have the Internet, nor ipads, nor smart phones, nor video gaming systems. There was none of that appeal to pull our minds away from just playing and being outside with our siblings and neighbors. Our parents did not care enough about our interests to devote their evening time to driving us to multiple locations for activities. And I think kids were happier back then. There was less stress on them. I believe there's research to indicate more children are being treated for anxiety and depression than ever before.
The article is a long read....but definitely worth it!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Low Carb Lifestyle
We are embarking on our low carb lifestyle again. B-real did it to lose some weight and was very successful last year. Once he started eating carbs again, his weight crept back. I tried it too but was obviously a sugar addict because I couldn't handle those first few days of carb withdrawl.
At the end of February we did low-carb and loved the results. We both lost some weight but what made us the most pleased was how we felt: more energy, better sleep, less cravings for food, and just happier. The first few days were really hard. I took a lot of Advil because of the headaches. I had to stay busy to keep from wanting treats in the afternoon. We cooked a lot more. Less variety in the food choices. Gosh were we sick of eggs for breakfast. At about 2 1/2 weeks we were both looking at food in an entirely different way and it was easy to maintain the lifestyle.
We started out our vacation on a pretty good note but it got trickier to maintain low-carb while we were eating so much with other people. People who don't subscribe to the same theme of eating as we were.
Now we're back home and we're back to eating no carbs. Day 2 seems easier than the last time we did this. I did take some Advil yesterday but the cravings have been kept at bay this time around. Round two came equipped with a three week meal plan I created and a big old shopping trip yesterday. We found some tortilla shells that only have three carbs and those are nice for whipping up tacos, fajitas, and chicken wraps. I also found a recipe for oopsie rolls which are a carb-free alternative for buns. They consist of eggs, cream cheese and a few other ingredients. I am thankful for Splenda, which I use in my coffee, and sugar free coffee creamer.
Living with these modifications is worth it because of the positive changes I've seen. I need much less sleep! I have much more energy! I no longer crave foods that provide no nutritional benefit!
At the end of February we did low-carb and loved the results. We both lost some weight but what made us the most pleased was how we felt: more energy, better sleep, less cravings for food, and just happier. The first few days were really hard. I took a lot of Advil because of the headaches. I had to stay busy to keep from wanting treats in the afternoon. We cooked a lot more. Less variety in the food choices. Gosh were we sick of eggs for breakfast. At about 2 1/2 weeks we were both looking at food in an entirely different way and it was easy to maintain the lifestyle.
We started out our vacation on a pretty good note but it got trickier to maintain low-carb while we were eating so much with other people. People who don't subscribe to the same theme of eating as we were.
Now we're back home and we're back to eating no carbs. Day 2 seems easier than the last time we did this. I did take some Advil yesterday but the cravings have been kept at bay this time around. Round two came equipped with a three week meal plan I created and a big old shopping trip yesterday. We found some tortilla shells that only have three carbs and those are nice for whipping up tacos, fajitas, and chicken wraps. I also found a recipe for oopsie rolls which are a carb-free alternative for buns. They consist of eggs, cream cheese and a few other ingredients. I am thankful for Splenda, which I use in my coffee, and sugar free coffee creamer.
Living with these modifications is worth it because of the positive changes I've seen. I need much less sleep! I have much more energy! I no longer crave foods that provide no nutritional benefit!
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Home Sweet Home
There is a cute arcade in the little village by our little house. The girls were able to play some of the games this week and turned in their tickets last night for prizes. B-real got a card too and had arranged with the girls that they would split all the tickets earned with the three cards equally between the two girls. As the girls were interacting with the woman who owned the arcade she remarked to B-real that she had never met such polite, well mannered children. As a result she went to this claw game (you know where you manipulate the claw down to the stuffed animals and it gives you nothing), opened it up and took out two stuffed animals for the girls. The girls were thrilled and so appreciative. The arcade owner came out and told me I was doing such a good job raising such nice girls. She said she sees plenty of kids working at the arcade.
I think she was a smart lady. Normally when a child behaves well the parents receive the compliments. The parents may in turn compliment the child or let the child know about the compliment. Here was a woman who was rewarding the child for their behavior. It provided a nice opportunity for us to discuss that being kind, friendly, and polite gets you things in life. It pays to be those things. Big C had another time at Caribou where she went up to the register and asked for a glass of water and the clerk was so impressed with her manners that she gave her a free blueberry muffin. People do nice things for you when you are a nice person.
Friday, March 21, 2014
A little extra NYC
Aren't they cute? We were walking around mid-town in the way to the subway.
Dream fulfilled. As a child there was a time when I wanted to be a tv news anchor. I got to report on a hurricane at the Sony lab. Little did I realize they broadcast it on huge t.v.s throughout the museum. I sort of got into it, pretending like I was being blown away. Big C, upon seeing it on the large t.v.s said "Make it go away mom". I kind of wanted it to go away too!!! Would never have been that dramatic if I had known it wasn't just for me!
The Sony Lab was neat.
The girls loved Dylan's Candy Bar. We even got to see the real Dylan!
Little c drew a lot. This was her drawing of me. I texted it to B-real and he said I am much prettier in person. I love the size of my ears! I cherish their drawings so much. One big c drew graces my loving room wall. It's a picture she drew of our family when she was three or so.
Gulf Style
Seeing as B-real has been feeling so ill I have been sticking close to the beach house. Today he said it would make him happy if I walked to the beach. I love to take walks and I love the beach. 
It is just a beautiful, peaceful time to be here. Seems like after lunch the spring breakers have woken up and taken over. It is hard to find any sand to stake your towel. The people watching is awesome!!
Still hoping B-real will begin to feel better. Although he said he couldn't drive home for 21 hours in his current state. Extended vacation?!! Little c is jones-ing for a return to the Hilton.
Arizona
Initially we planned for Sedona but learned it is still pretty cold there in February. Instead we found a nice hotel
in Phoenix and sat poolside, ate nice meals, walked, and drove to The Grand Canyon.
We reveled in our time together and had so much fun! We both devoured our books and lounged on the lazy river. We thought our kids would have loved the resort because of the huge river and the water slides.
Can I tell you how nice it was to see grass and fresh flowers?
Thursday, March 20, 2014
What I Learned This Weekend
Today I learned that when Big C is interested in something and she wants to do it, her behavior is fantastic. I don't need to worry about her being unpleasant and moody. However, if I force something on her, the outcome is usually not good.
If I think she needs more physical activity and suggest she might try a tramp and tumbling class, she will reluctantly go but will likely be grumpy with the instructor, embarrass herself and me, and have a bad time. If she loves downhill skiing and wants to go to Skijammers, I will worry about her spending a whole day away from home and her attitude and her stamina, and she will come home with some pin saying she's the superstar of the day. Huh?
I mentioned it to my dad and he asked if I was surprised that a child is just like an adult. If they are excited about something and really want to do it, they will be joyful. If they don't want to do it, they will be grumpy and not have much fun.
I had thought I might push her outside her comfort zone and she might pick up on some fun, new activity.
I need to listen to my children and be o.k. if they seem o.k. Especially with Big C; I think she's more self-aware than other children her age. I don't need to force my agenda on them. One child requires a lot more activity and the other is just as happy with her occasional hobbies. The later does not feel like she is missing out. And I don't need to buy into the business of other people's children and feel like a failure for not keeping my children as busy as other children.
If they are o.k., I should be o.k. too.
If I think she needs more physical activity and suggest she might try a tramp and tumbling class, she will reluctantly go but will likely be grumpy with the instructor, embarrass herself and me, and have a bad time. If she loves downhill skiing and wants to go to Skijammers, I will worry about her spending a whole day away from home and her attitude and her stamina, and she will come home with some pin saying she's the superstar of the day. Huh?
I mentioned it to my dad and he asked if I was surprised that a child is just like an adult. If they are excited about something and really want to do it, they will be joyful. If they don't want to do it, they will be grumpy and not have much fun.
I had thought I might push her outside her comfort zone and she might pick up on some fun, new activity.
I need to listen to my children and be o.k. if they seem o.k. Especially with Big C; I think she's more self-aware than other children her age. I don't need to force my agenda on them. One child requires a lot more activity and the other is just as happy with her occasional hobbies. The later does not feel like she is missing out. And I don't need to buy into the business of other people's children and feel like a failure for not keeping my children as busy as other children.
If they are o.k., I should be o.k. too.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
TSA again
B-real was coming back from a trip last week. In Atlanta they only have body scanners so he exercised his right of refusal and waited for the manhandling called security. During that time, as I mentioned in a previous post, everything you have been forced to take out of your pockets, proceeds to go through the X-ray machine. As I reported in La Guardia his stuff, including wallet, passport, phone lay unattended for the taking as he waited for the TSA to slowly make their way to complete his manhandling. The same thing happened in Atlanta last week, except this time he found his passport had been taken. Yep, gone. Nowhere to be found. And with hundreds of dollars of visa clearances in it. Basically permission for him to enter a host of other countries provided and paid for by his employer. He reported it stolen.
This all comes on the heels of the Malaysian Airlines confusion where two individuals were flying on passports that had been stolen and reported stolen. How can people be using passports to check in for flights when they are in a database somewhere indicating they have been stolen? I just don't understand and it baffles me that we aren't making a bigger deal about that fact. It makes me nervous to fly. Here we manhandle people in the name of security at airports yet we are not prohibiting individuals from gaining access to airplanes whom are flying with fraudulent identification.
Instead of going on and on about whether the pilot committed suicide or whether there was a maintenance malfunction on the cable new channels, they should be talking about this flaw in our international security system.
Vacations and Our Family
Vacation and the Murray family don't always mix well. B-real said he thinks maybe we should not go on vacation anymore. I said it might be as a result of all of the travels we take. Someone is bound to get sick. Although, I have to say, it seems our more pressing illnesses occur outside of our hometown.
B-real is super sick in FL. So sick that he asked me to take him to the urgent care and he hates the doctor. In the 14 years we have been married I have never seen him really ill. The poor guy is suffering from some GI issues, high fever, headache, just yuckiness. And it's his week of vacation. Well deserved vacation. Last week he worked while my parents were with us. Why couldn't he have gotten sick last week? He has never had a sick day from work! So we are spending a lovely FL day cooped up in a tiny urgent care room while he is getting an IV and going through a battery of tests. Fortunately we have grandparents with with us to watch the girls because B-real couldn't drive himself here.
We have plenty of experience with doctors in FL because little c had her infamous sliver experience down here. I like our MN healthcare so much better.
B-real is super sick in FL. So sick that he asked me to take him to the urgent care and he hates the doctor. In the 14 years we have been married I have never seen him really ill. The poor guy is suffering from some GI issues, high fever, headache, just yuckiness. And it's his week of vacation. Well deserved vacation. Last week he worked while my parents were with us. Why couldn't he have gotten sick last week? He has never had a sick day from work! So we are spending a lovely FL day cooped up in a tiny urgent care room while he is getting an IV and going through a battery of tests. Fortunately we have grandparents with with us to watch the girls because B-real couldn't drive himself here.
We have plenty of experience with doctors in FL because little c had her infamous sliver experience down here. I like our MN healthcare so much better.
A little Iv fluids, Zofran, and Toradol and he's starting to have a little more energy! Here's to hoping he kicks the bug today and gets to enjoy the last three days of vacation.
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