The Atlantic magazine arrived at our house and I was excited to read the cover article entitled "The Overprotected Kid". The just of the piece is that kids these days don't have enough opportunity to take risks and explore because their parents fear them getting injured, abducted, harmed. They are afraid to let them ride their bikes alone, play outside unsupervised, climb trees,do normal kid like activities.
I've often heard parents quip "It's a different world now than when I was a child". The statistics in the article bunk those statements and indicate the incidence of injuries and abductions have not increased much since the 1970's. If you look at the incidence of abductions since the 1970's there is a rise. However, if you delve deeper into the data the increase is not due to stranger abductions but rather to family abductions. Divorce has been on the increase since the 1970's and these fractured homes are leading to one parent trying to abduct the child from the other parent. Nice, huh?
Children and getting hurt:
Big C fell off a trampoline and out of a tree breaking two bones in a matter of four months. We felt like really great parents during that summer. The gut wrenching part was when she wanted to climb the tree again the next spring. What's a parent to do? That confidence and lack of fear, that get back up on the horse attitude, should be applauded, right? But the protective part of us did not want her to get hurt nor did we want to revisit a doctor with a third broken bone in less than a year. We let her climb. We decided the gumption on her part was more important to reward than our fears. Upon Big C's second broken bone, I asked her doctor if I should be concerned about her having soft bones or a lack of calcium. He calmly responded she was just hitting that age where broken bones become more common because children begin taking more risks. I also saw some generational differences in the approach to allowing her to climb the tree again. My parents couldn't quite fathom why we wouldn't let her get back up there.
Parks have changed due to law suits:
Growing up there was a huge park within a thirty minute drive of our home. The highlight of the park was the zip line. It was a controlled scary in my eyes and I looked forward to forcing myself to tackle it. The thrill of conquering the fear felt really good. The zip line started up quite high and careened you into a net. I 'think' there was a net underneath the line. When our homeschool group put that particular park on our summer schedule I was just as excited as a child and told my girls all about how much fun they would have at this awesome park I remembered from my childhood. We arrived and there was no zip line. The park, albeit large, looked just like any other park in any old neighborhood.
Unstructured Play Areas:
The author visits a 'park' called The Land in England. There are no real play structures just acres of property for the children to explore. One of the more popular parks our homeschool group visits is not even technically a park. It's more a nature area. There may be a slide and a dome type structure but mostly the kids explore the woods, climb trees, build structures with fallen limbs, and most importantly, use their imaginations. They can play for hours at this 'park' with just what they find and their brains. This is a group of kids from two years old up to seventeen.
I often tell B-real I was meant to live in the 1950s. I believe in families with one parent not working outside the home. I believe in marriage. I believe in people hanging out at home more often. The importance of a neighborhood. Child led games and activities rather than paid coaches. Freedom to explore. Multi-aged play in the neighborhood. Kids coming up with their own ideas to keep from being bored. Not being too busy with structured activities. Family time. Dinners at home.
But here's the thing, if you believe in these ideals and no one else does, your kids are going to be darn lonely. For my kids to have the opportunity to be around other children, we have to sign up for the structured evening activities. There is no one around in our neighborhood with whom to play in the evenings. In the summer kids are at day care because both parents are working. We invite people over but they respond with "So and so has a field trip here, then we have chess club, then it's religion class, a birthday party". Everyone is so crazily busy! And it's lonely if you don't agree with that pace of life, if you don't agree that benefits your children, your marriage, your family life.
I remember seeing families at little c's gymnastics. They had young children (think 3 or 4 years old), both parents dressed professionally, peanut buttering Saltines for their child to eat at the gym, for dinner. I imagined these children had been separated from their parents for the day at daycare. Instead of spending time with their youngsters at home around the dinner table they felt they needed to give them the chance of gymnastics. Why? These professional people didn't prioritize time spent with their children and a wholesome meal over sending them off to a gym class at 3 or 4 years of age? Don't they want to spend time with the children they've been away from the whole day?
As we were falling asleep B-real and I were thinking back to our own elementary years. Neither of us grew up having cable TV. And even if we did cable did not offer the options it provides to children today. Kids programming all day long! Netflix, Apple TV, OnDemand. We did not have the Internet, nor ipads, nor smart phones, nor video gaming systems. There was none of that appeal to pull our minds away from just playing and being outside with our siblings and neighbors. Our parents did not care enough about our interests to devote their evening time to driving us to multiple locations for activities. And I think kids were happier back then. There was less stress on them. I believe there's research to indicate more children are being treated for anxiety and depression than ever before.
The article is a long read....but definitely worth it!
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