Praise and Discipline

One thing that really works with my kids is to discipline and reprimand them privately.  I think about how embarrassing it would to me if B-real ripped into me in front of our friends.  Or if it were to happen in a work setting.  Who wants to be corrected in the presence of others?

It works simply.  If I see a behavior that displeases me, I calmly call the child over and speak quietly to her about the correct action.  I don't yell or punish but rather kindly tell her the current behavior is not appropriate and instruct on how I would like her to behave.  I then 'release' her back into the group setting.

On the other hand, when I see correct behavior I make sure to praise very publicly.  Who doesn't like to be complimented in the presence of friends, relatives, you name it?  

And I try to praise much more than reprimand.  You'll find the more you do this, the less you will actually need to correct behavior.

One example is from a class Big C started this week.  She was a bit grumpy because they were waiting around for the activities to start and she wanted to get going.   It was just a negative attitude really but I felt like she was starting off this new experience on the wrong foot.  I quietly called her over to me and reminded her that we don't get a second chance to make a first impression.  I asked her what she thought the other kids and instructors would think of her if she continued to behave in her current manner.  She said she did not think they would like her.  I asked if she wanted to spend 10 weeks with kids and instructors who didn't like her.  She said no.  I told her she had the opportunity to change her attitude and consequently change the course of the next 10 weeks.  She decided she wanted to do that and proceeded to have a pleasant attitude and really enjoyed her class.

Another aspect of homeschooling I appreciate is that I have the chance to witness more of these teachable moments.   People may say that kids need to figure it out themselves and I agree with this to a degree; but once they are older.  I believe, right now, is an especially important age for parents to be involved in helping their children navigate the waters.   At seven and nine they are still immature and need guidance.  I don't want to fix their problems but I want to be there to guide them, to advise, to mentor.